beard recognition

you know your beard has reached the level of amazing when your co-workers tape a picture of grizzly adams to your door.

consumerism at it's finest

i drove home again today. which inevitably meant that i had lots of time (6 hours to be exact) by myself to think about this, that, and the other thing. i won't bore you with all the details. but the thing that did stick out the most on my mind was why i was headed home. in case you hadn't noticed yet, it's almost christmas time. and i started wondering, "why am i not as excited about christmas as i was 10 years ago?" i mean, i used to start plotting out what i wanted and started counting down about a month or so in advance. now my mom has to pry gift ideas out of me. i think it's because i've gotten sick of the ridiculous level of consumerism associated with christmas. everyone spends all their time talking about what they're getting everyone else, rather than talk about what christmas is really all about. the birth of jesus christ. now i say that from my soap box, all the while knowing that i have been guilty of the consumerism in the past, and that for the past few years, have dropped the consumerism, but remained apathetic in the sense that i don't make a big deal out of what christmas really is. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm guilty of being joyless. this time of the year should be at worst the second most joyful time of the year for me as a christian (easter probably would take number one). at this time of year, we remember that the God of the universe decided to humble himself by taking on the form of a man, and then choosing to be the weakest of all men, a baby. it just boggles my mind that he would do that for me. so, i guess for the next few days i'm going to focus on that, and really make that the point of my return home.

grades

grades were posted the other day on webster. didn't do bad. i actually ended up with a c in modern algebra. which is good. i was actually surprised, i was expecting a d, which would have been terrible, i haven't gotten a d ever. and i still didn't. unfortunately i must not have done very well on my photo history final because i ended up with a b.

i can't really think of anything else important or exciting to say, so i think i'll end this post here. night.

frozen tundra

i decided on a bit of a whim to go home this past weekend. left work about 3 on friday afternoon in hopes to catch the end of my little brother's swim meet that night. i made it back to e.c. in a record 5.5 hours, but missed the meet by about 10 minutes. oh well. my mom was surprised that i came home, so that worked out well. it was ok that i didn't get to the meet on time because there was another one on saturday all day. i ended up timing for it, which is always fun. i always leave meets a little depressed though, mainly because i really miss swimming. i did decide though, that since i spent most of the day giving kyle advice about what he needed to do to get his times faster that i'm going to coach once i'm out of school and have some time. first though, i think i'd like to join a master's team and get some more swimming in for myself. then i'll settle down and coach. that's about all, i'm just really tired from all the driving this weekend. and i'll be back in the tundra on thursday night.

tired

i'm not so sure about this whole working over the j-term idea. i'm only 3 days in, and i'm worn out. i know that someday, i'll actually have to get a job and work all day, and hopefully at that time i'll get used to getting up at 7 in the morning, and working 8 hours a day, and all the stuff that goes along with being "a contributing member of society". however, i wonder sometimes if maybe, just maybe i should take it easy. i mean this is the LAST time i will ever have an entire month off with no responsibilities. stupid rent. maybe i shouldn't have quit staff, then i could be living in the dorms for free, and wouldn't have to worry about making enough money so that i don't get kicked out of my apartment. desk+data+me+8 hours≠fun. i can't sit still this long, i think i'm going stir crazy.

break goals

i've decided to set some goals for myself for the winter/christmas/jterm/whatever you want to call it break. i retain full editorial power over these (of course) so they may change with time. as it stands right now though, this is what i want to accomplish.

1. finish reading through painted deserts
2. read all the chronicles of narnia
3. lose (yes, LOSE) 5 pounds
4. clean my room
5. beat kyle in a 50 yard freestyle sprint at the alumni meet
6. wash my car
7. beat dad at racquetball (just one game)
8. continue searching for jobs
9. actually apply for some jobs
10. relax

i think that's a pretty good list to start things off. i'm sure i'll think of some more things i'd like to do, cuz that's just how i opperate. anyways, i've got stuff to do, so i'm leaving. you should too.

soundtrack to my year

i was inspired today by my friend jim, who recently posted his top ten albums of the year on his blog. and i thought to myself, "self," (that's what i call myself), "you should probably do something like this too. because you listen to music like, nonstop, so you should enlighten the world and tell everyone what you like, so that maybe they'll like it too." so here it is...my favorite top however many albums i decide to list for 2005...(in no particular order, well, actually alphabetical because i'm reading down my itunes list):


Anathallo ~ A Holiday at Sea: wow, these guys are incredible. i first heard them on purevolume and then later in the year went to a show with my main man kurt. honestly, it was one of the best live performances ever. their music is really, really deep lyrically and musically. it's like a nine piece band and they just jam out for a while, but not in an annoying phish jam band way. they just are who they are. tracks to check out: a holiday at sea; don't kid yourself, you need a physician.

Anberlin ~ never take friendship personal: ok, i fell in love with these guys the first time i ever heard them. stephen's voice is really different, and really sets them apart from the crowd. some may say that they're too "poppy", but i say, "who cares?" basically i connect with all of their songs in some way shape or form, so that will pretty much do me in when listening to a band. tracks to check out: paperthin hymn; a day late.

The Bled ~ pass the flask: if you are looking to straight up, just rock your face off, here is the album for you. this is definitely an album i've listened to over 30 times. raw emotion, guitar riffs, screaming, maybe some singing, it's all there. and more. plus they rock live too. tracks to check out: never met another gemini; dale earnhardt's seatbelt.

Bradley Hathaway ~ all the hits so far: k, so this is definitely a departure from my musical stylings. bradley is a poet. so his cd is all spoken word, just reading his poems. he states right off the bat in his book, that he really isn't a poet, he doesn't get into all the deep allegories and metaphors most poets do. he just writes what is on his heart. he writes about annoying hardcore kids, getting dumped, feeling joy, pleading with God, all the things that we go through on a daily basis. basically. highly recommend this one (comes with a book too). tracks to check out: manly man; the annoying hardcore kid that goes too far; another one of those nights.

Emery ~ the question: well, the first time i listened to the weak's end, my first thought was, i can't wait for their next album to come out. and i was not disappointed. the question is incredible. while the sound has changed a little, it has changed to the mature side of things, which is obviously a good thing. the songs rock, and the lyrics are so emotionally intense, everything is just tied together so well. if you want a cd that may actually challenge your perspective of the world, this is definitely one to get. tracks to check out: listening to freddie mercury; in a win, win situation.

Haste the Day ~ when everything falls: metal, metal, METAL! this band absolutely rocks. i don't really know what to say. there's not a lot of technical criticism of metal. basically, someone plays a riff, the other guy plays some rhythm, the drummer blast beats, the singer screams then sings then screams and so on, and the bassist does something that progresses the music, i guess. all in all, it's just a fun album to listen to. and come on, who doesn't love metal covers of the goo goo dolls. tracks to check out: when everything falls; long way down.

He is Legend ~ i am hollywood: probably the best signing that tooth and nail/solid state made in recent history. i'm not sure what it is about these guys that's so alluring. maybe it's the dreamy beard that the lead singer sports. or maybe it's their fun video for the seduction, done with hand puppets. anyways, it's a pretty tongue in cheek album, mocking all that is hollywood. just remember, there's a monster in my room, and we discuss movies over coffee. tracks to check out: act 1, scene 1: the seduction; act 3, scene 2: the walls have teeth (end scene).

Mae ~ the everglow: i'll be honest, i actually didn't like this album the first time i heard it. i really loved destination:beautiful, and this seemed a bit too much of a departure from that for me. but i listened to it again, and again, and it grew on me. i especially started to like it after i saw them live last spring. the music took on a new meaning after seeing them actually perform it. and my favorite song rings quite true in my own life, "i just wanna wake up, in someone elses..arms." tracks to check out: someone else's arms; mistakes we knew we were making.

Norma Jean ~ o' God, the aftermath: um...i don't even know where to start with this album. i was really, really worried about where norma jean was headed after the lead singer left to start the chariot. but this album basically stood up and slapped me in the face for ever doubting. the guitars are crushing, the lyrics deep (as usual), and it just flat out rocks. it's kind of fun too because they squash words together for the titles. tracks to check out: vertebraille (choke that theif called dependance); murderotica (an avalanche in D minor).

Showbread ~ no sir, nihlism is not practical: ok, so this didn't actually come out in 2005, but i'm pretty sure i didn't buy it til this year. so i'm counting it in the list. and cuz it's awesome. i'm not really sure how to describe these guys to you, other than out there. i mean...come on, they have a guy in the band that plays key-tar ( you know, that 80's new wave thing) and they put themselves in their own genre called spaz rock. i think that pretty well describes the state of things in showbread. tracks to check out: mouth like a magazine; stabbing art to death.

Starflyer 59 ~ talking voice vs. singing voice: i've been a huge fan of these guys for a really long time. i just wish tooth and nail would promote them better, they're amazing. the overall mood to this album is really haunting. there is just a real melancholy feeling to the lyrics and music that almost gives you the creeps. p.s. it's a little weird, if you didn't catch that from my earlier description. there, i warned you. tracks to check out: easy street; night life.

Thrice ~ vheissu: if you haven't heard thrice before, this is THE album to get first. absolutely incredible. the band has always struck me as pretty spiritual, and this album is no deviation. the tracks seem to speak of things deeper than ourselves, or the things of this world. and beside all the cool hidden meanings and stuff, they straight up rock. in fact, i think they'll rock your face off, so be ready with some duct tape or something in the event that listening to this album actually causes your face to fall off. tracks to check out: image of the invisible; red sky.

well, i'd say that's a pretty good list. so get started, go listen to some of these. have a nice day now.

dandelions

In a field of yellow flowers,
underneath the sun,
bluest eyes that spark with lightning,
boy with shoes undone.
He is young, so full of hope,
reveling in tiny dreams,
filling up, his arms with flowers,
right for giving any queen.

Running to her beaming bright,
while cradling his prize.
A flickering of yellow light,
within his mother's eyes.
She holds them to her heart,
keeping them where they'll be safe,
clasped within her very marrow,
dandelions in a vase.

She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds.
all hope is found.
Here is everything he needs.

Fathomless your endless mercy,
weight I could not lift.
Where do I fit in this puzzle,
what good are these gifts?
Not a martyr, or a saint,
scarcely can I struggle through.
All that I have ever wanted,
was to give my best to you.

Lord, search my heart,
create in me something clean.
Dandelions
you see flowers in these weeds.

Gently lifting hands to heaven,
softened by the sweetest hush,
a Father sings over his children,
loving them so very much.
More than words could warrant,
deeper than the darkest blue,
more than sacrifice could merit,
Lord, I give my heart to you.

Dandelions ~ Five Iron Frenzy

Was just listening to this today on a whim.  I've always liked this song.

ready to end

may cannot come soon enough. i'm ready to be done with all this crap that is school. i hate tests, i hate homework, and most importantly i hate professors who tell you one thing about a test and then put another on the actual test. makes it a little hard to study.

snow, pain, and the lion

last night me and about 20 other people went out to enjoy the wonderment that is the snow here in peoria. it's actually quite amazing. i can't remember any of the last three years i've been here when we had this much snow this early. anyways, we played snow football. it was incredible. however, i'm incredibly sore right now, which is why i'm laying here on the couch right now.

later last night i went to see the chronicles of narnia with some more people. i was excited before going to the movie to see it, but after seeing it, i'm even more excited. it was an absolutely incredible movie. i'm now intending to read all the books over the winter break. nothing more to say really. probably need to study more.

concentration

well, to begin with, today was st. nick's day. if you are unfamiliar with that german tradition, i'll fill you in. see apparently on the night of december 5th, st. nick comes to visit the little children (of german descent, of course), the children leave out a shoe or a sock, and st. nick fills it with candy or perhaps a small gift. i dunno, it's something my family has done ever since i was a kid. i'd assume (since my mom's side is pretty german) that it started a long time ago with my family. so, i got a package in the mail today from st. nick because i don't live at home anymore. i would put a picture of what i got up here, but my camera battery charger is MIA and the battery is dying. so i'll just tell you what i got. i got chocolate chip cookies, holiday m & m's, twizzler bites (which will be discussed later in this blog), and the book through painted deserts by donald miller.


so twizzler bites are probably one of the most amazing candies ever. i was having a discussion back around halloween with hopping about twizzlers because he had bought the small ones to give out to kids. we were trying to decide why the smaller ones seemed to taste better than what we remembered the big ones tasted like. here's what we decided. we feel that the twizzler coorporation must use the same amount of flavoring on all it's candies, thus making the smaller ones more concentrated with flavor, and in turn tasting better. therefore the bites must be the best tasting twizzlers on the market (which i had already decided anyways, but now i have a theory as to why).

rebates and gluttony

yarg i was trying to add a profile picture, but apparently the website i had the photo on doesn't like me linking to it. which i think is silly, but whatever. so here is the picture i intended to make my profile photo.

in other news, i was thinking today about mail in rebates. the inherent problem with them, is that you have to remember to mail them in. i being scatter-brained and forgetful, don't always remember these subtleties of the mail in rebate. case in point. i was cleaning my room today and found one laying on my desk, for $40, that i hadn't sent in yet. luckily if it was postmarked today it was still good. so hopefully the pickup from the mailbox i droppped it in happened and it got sent on time. really i just want the $40 back.

also today, i was reminded of how much i love oatmeal. specifically quaker oats cinnamon roll oatmeal. a little milk, some heat...oh man, it's incredible. i was in a hurry before going to work today and needed a quick and easy food to make. that ended up being the solution to my problem. and a most delicious solution it was.

i also found out today that being a hungry man just doesn't cut it anymore, now you can be a hungry man xxl, with 1 and 1/2 pounds of food. i like the little note under that says "2 servings". if you're a real man, you can eat that whole thing. so hike up your skirt aunt sally, and down what would normally be enough food for 2 people and gorge yourself on some amazing frozen food.

finished

the portfolio is finished. finally. i think i only put in like 20+ some hours working on it this week. but it looks good, so even though i nearly killed myself making it, it was worth the effort. now all i have to do is organize everything for the tech book and start studying for my finals. the end of the semester is in sight, finally.

this is the post i was intending to put up yesterday, but couldn't because i got side tracked with all my portfolio work. i figured i'd brag about my superior cooking skills. friday night i made an amazing dinner of stir-fried pork and sugar snap peas tossed in general tso's sauce. basically, i was really excited about it because i've been eating lots of cheapo frozen foods. i guess such is the life of a college student.

photographic insanity

so i think that my photography portfolio is going to kill me. seriously. i worked on it from 1-9 yesterday, took a break to go to a friend's housewarming party, then went back in at 2 and worked till 7 this morning. i'm still not done. and i have to start studying for my finals. in case you're wondering, off to the left there is what a crazy person looks like (i.e. myself after doing all the photo work).

trashy trash trash

i went out the other day to finish off my portfolio shots. while i was home i found two really incredible shots, one of a swan made out of trash, and the other of this old rusted out pickup. basically, it was a sign that i needed to quit being so complex about my portfolio and get back to what i enjoy taking pictures of...trash. so upon returning to bradley, i remembered the old abandoned house i was at last year, and went back, but shot around outside. got some really cool old farm machinery. so the picture there is one that i snapped with my digital camera. i'm probably going back sometime soon so i can get pictures with the snow on the ground, and i'll probably go back into the house.

i've been spending a lot of time in the darkroom these past few weeks, which is getting kind of old. i've already been there for about 16 hours this week. i guess in the end it's all good though because i'm turning out some prints that i'm really happy with, and i think this portfolio has a lot of potential. hopefully, if i can get the money together, i'm going to frame all the pieces and have a show with it. when i do, i'll make sure to let everyone know so they can come see it. and maybe buy a piece or two. ;-)

a new beginning

I've decided that I'll start on my New Year's stuff a little early. I'm intending to post to this thing a little more often than my old one. So if you're always dying to know what's going on in my life, this is where to look. I decided I was fed up with the layout of Xanga, thus the move to here. So anyways...

Apparently the Christmas season is upon us. I'm sitting downstairs right now and Jake, Ben, and Sean have decided that there will be 24 hours of Christmas music played until Christmas day. It officially started one hour and twenty three minutes ago. Kinda crazy, but I've come to expect it from these guys.

Had to go MacGuyver on my glasses tonight. One of the screws fell out, and I couldn't find it. So I used a paper clip to hold the bow to the rest of the frames. It's a real picture of coolness.

I just spent 5 hours in the photo lab tonight, working on more prints for my portfolio for zone system. I think it's really shaping up to be an awesome set of photographs. In fact, I'm liking it so much, that I might try and see if I can do a senior show, even though I'm not actually in the BFA program. I'll have to talk to Beth. I suppose I should get to bed cuz I'm planning to get up and shoot tomorrow before class.